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Throughout I try to emulate the dry, clear, precise legalistic tone she has used in the agreement, and it takes me numerous attempts to get it right. I practice on the communication protocol, reflecting the steps I have taken, including the telephone numbers in the interests of completeness and precision.And then I turn to the question of measurement. The erect measurement is the easy one. The thought of her in my mind ensures that. Flaccid is a conundrum. In the condition I’m in, I know of just one sure way to ensure it, and she has forbidden it to me. I could of course, just pleasure myself and be done with it. The temptation is enormous and hard to resist as it is. I’m alone, and she need never know. Unless I confessed.But.The same logic and sentiment apply, that condemn me to ask her permission before leaving the city. Hard though it may be. I want to honour her, and the commitment I’ve made to her.I lower the shower head, and stand shivering under icy cold water till I’m numb. After about 6 weeks of working there , one friday afternoon when I was in the Stock room alone marking up some items ,Ben came into the stock room and walked over to me .Ben- " everything aright kyle ? How you getting on ? "Me - yh fine mate not got that much more to do really Ben - ok good , so anyway kyle, how come you never told me you was gay.I felt so embaressed I didn't really know what to say Me - what !! Who's told you that ? Ben - well I was speaking to louise before and she told me , she's not lying is she ?Me - well no but its weird I didn't really want you to know Ben - why's that then ? Me - I don't know I just thought u might of been abit funny about it Ben - ( laughs ) funny about it haha don't be daft I'm gay myself you silly sod Me - honestly ? Or are you just having me on Ben- honestly mate I thought you knew , I thought your mum would of said Something .Me - no she never mentioned anything and speaking of my mum don't say a word to her about me being gay, she.
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